The Waiting Game

It's been almost a month since my last post and my friend reminded me it's time for an update!  Well, here's the update.  NOTHING!  A bit fat nothing.  As of my last post, we had put in an offer on the farm and because it's a short sale we were told that it might take a bit of time.  1 week went by.  Then 2 weeks.  Then 3.  I think we are currently at week 5.  The bank said that we would know in about 10 days and today is day 10.  Still no word.  If anything, this is teaching me patience but I'm not a very good student.  I hate to wait!  I have planned everything in my head and now it's like someone is holding my dreams hostage. 

The crazy thing is if it doesn't go through I'm going to feel really weird about being where we are now.  I think it's because I've pictured myself packing boxes, moving out and moving on to the next exciting thing.  So to be right back where we started is a little sad to me.  I know that other houses will come along, but we've been looking since July.  It has seemed more like years than months!

I know I usually write these posts and then find out pretty much right after an answer to what I'm worrying about.  Let's hope that that happens this time and that my next post is titled "We got the farm!"  I'm really excited to tell you our visions for it but it just seems premature right now.  So, that's where I am right now!  It's not a pretty place.  But I just wanted you to know that I'm not hiding any insider info! 

Much love to all!

Wide Open Spaces

I have to be honest, I've been holding out on some of you!  There have been some plans going on that I haven't really been able to share and it's been killing me!  I love telling everything and putting it all out there so that's probably why I have had a blog absence for so long!  It's like I couldn't even write anything for fear you would see right through me.

In July my older sister Sara was here visiting and we were all sitting around talking about what the future held for her.  She started laying out a plan that she had to move to a big wide open space of land where she can start her own little farm and just live peacefully.  I thought that her plan sounded great!  I told her that Wes and I have always wanted to move to some land where we wouldn't have to worry about the kids playing right by the street, just a place where they can have room to roam.

"Why don't you move on the land with me?"  she said.  And that began the talks of the "Homestead."  We have spent hours dreaming and planning how we were going to pull this off.  If you know Wes and I, we are go-getters.  We started cleaning up our house (I'm telling you, this was no small task!).  We rented a storage space and packed up about half of our belongings.  We cleaned the house and yard until it shined like I'm pretty sure it never has before.  Then we put the house up for sale.  Like I said, when an opportunity like this presents itself, I think you gotta jump!

After our conversation with Sara, we all started looking for property near Wes' work that would meet our needs.  Sara wanted a substansial amount of land (like 25-50 acres) and we needed a place that we would be able to separate into two, possibly 3 parcels.  (My parents liked the idea so much that they wanted in too!)  We were able to find a property pretty quickly in Clayton, IN (Hendricks Co.) which is about 45 minutes from Wes' work.  The property seemed perfect; rolling hills, 30 acres, 3 barns and a house.

So we made an offer.  After about a month or two of back and forth, it became real clear that the owners who have lived there for about 25 years weren't quite ready to leave.  They put up roadblocks at every single turn, and I do mean every single turn!  In the end, we had to walk away from the place because they were unwilling to do some costly repairs in order to make the property safe to live on.

About a month later, we found another property that we have now made an offer on.  It's a 40 acre mini farm with a house and a grain silo, 3 barns and pastures galore.  It is a beautiful place.  The only problem is that this house is a short sale so instead of working with a person, we are working with a bank.  We made an offer about 2 weeks ago and we still haven't heard back.  I am told that this is typical when working with a bank but the waiting is killing us!  Hopefully in the next week or two, we will get an answer.

Stay tuned and I let you know what our grand plans our for this place!

Thoughts on prayer and more...

Okay, this blog is going to be just a mix of all of the different thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head lately.  Hopefully they will come out coherent...if not, welcome to the inside of my head!!

He hears us.  I have been reminded recently that God hears our prayers.  He really does.  Do you ever feel like you are praying and your prayers are bouncing off of the wall?  If so, we could be good friends.  I have had some times this year where I have actually told myself I'm not going to pray because it doesn't seem to make a difference anyway.  And you know what?  Right at those moments, God has brought physical people in my life to talk to me about prayer.  It was like God knew I needed some encouragement so He sent someone whose voice I could audibly hear in order to reassure me that He still hears me.  He used my old pastor and a lovely Christian friend from Facebook to remind me that He is still here.  Through their wise words, I was able to realize that maybe some part of the problem lies with me.  I needed to learn more about prayer and it's purpose so that I could understand it better.

My friend Theresa gave a beautiful analogy about prayer that I thought I would share here. 

"As a parent there are many times when my kids think they know what they want, but as a mother I know it isn't safe or healthy....soemtimes they cry and get mad at me, but I know in the end they will appreciate the fact that I was keeping them safe (even if they didn't fully understand that at the time).  I have to trust that God is the same way.  When I choose to love him, I must trust that even though I can't undestand why my prayers can't be answered in the way I want them to, He has a better plan, He knows the bigger picture and in the end I am still safe in his arms." 

Maybe it's because I have experienced these same moments with my kids that Theresa describes above but that analogy just touched me so deeply and I could really relate to it.  Next time you are mad at God for not answering your prayers the way you expected, maybe try and remember that we are only human and we don't see the whole cosmic picture.  But God does.  Aren't you glad that the One who knows all and see all is also in charge of all??  I am so glad!

He deserves our praise.  So many times when I don't feel the closeness of God, I automatically think that it was God who has moved.  More often than not though, it is us who have moved away from Him.  Think about your typical day.  How much of it includes time with God, thoughts about God or praise to God?  I think for me, if I'm being completely honest, it would be about 15 minutes or less (exception would be Sundays when I'm at church).  And then I am disappointed when I feel that God is not near to me?  It's because I haven't included Him in my life.  We had a night of worship at our church on Sunday night and for about an hour and a half, I got to experience what true praise and worship was.  And I thought, this is what I want my whole life to be full of.  Praise and adoration to the One who has saved me.  If you are so busy that you don't even have time to think outside your own life and what's happening with it, it might be time to reevaluate.  I am in the process of doing this myself.  Cutting away things that don't matter so I can make room for things that do matter.  It's definitely going to be a process and I know that as my kids get older, there will be seasons of busyness but I don't want to get to the end of my life and wish I had more time to live my life for the right reasons!

And here's a tie-in to prayer.  We are so great at asking God for things, but are we great at listening for the answers?  I'm embarrassed to say that at times I have prayed for things flippantly only to realize later that God has answered those prayers in a great way and I didn't even notice!  Or even worse, I've taken the credit for those answered prayers myself by thinking that I did something to change the situation.

I don't want to be so busy that I don't recognize the answers to prayer and the things that God is doing around me.

Whew!  It feels good to get those thoughts out into coherent sentences.  I want you to know that this blog is just as much for me as it is for others.  Writing is a form of therapy for me.  So, thanks for taking the time to read!  I also love reading your comments!!

The start of school

Good news! Chad came home from the hospital this past weekend and is resting comfortably at home. Well, as comfortable as you can when you have 4 kids who haven't seen you in a week! Here's a picture of Cameron and Gisele (Chad and Wendy's daughter) who are about 4 months apart. Gisele will be one in October and loved putting Cameron's pacifier in her mouth even though she swears off pacifiers for herself! Not sure how my last two kids have managed to be so pasty white. I'm considering buying tanning beds for them to lay in at night instead of cribs.

Preston had his first day of preschool this past week. He is going MWF school. He has his teacher that he started out having at the beginning of last year who he really liked. The class just got a pet gecko. They are trying to come up with names for it as a class and one of the kids suggested "Quiet" as it's name. Seems to me somebody must be hearing that a lot at home or something...... Don't you love the little head at the bottom of the picture? Owen can't handle not being a part of everything that involves Preston.

We did our annual apple picking and it was amazing to think back on the first time we went. Preston was younger than Owen and I was a mother of 1! No one tells you that life doesn't get much easier than that!! But I love all of my boys, even the goober below.....

I decided that I needed to make our bedroom a retreat from the craziness so we repainted and got some new bedding. I love relaxing in here when things go haywire downstairs.

Great News!

Hi all! Hope that you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. We had Chad and Wendy's kids over on Saturday night and on Sunday and I realized I'm no Michelle Duggar!! 7 kids is wayyyy toooooo many for little ole me. Don't get me, they were all great and well-behaved, but I felt like I was going a zillion miles an hour. 15 minutes before church, I realized I still hadn't gotten dressed or done my hair. Oh well. I guess the fact that each kid had clean clothes on and each baby had clean diapers on their bottoms was enough! It was quite an experience! God bless each of you who have a bunch of kids. God must have blessed you with an extra ounce or two of patience!!

Today's report on Chad couldn't be better! They did another angiogram to check to make sure that there was still no more new bleeds or aneurysms that they needed to worry about. It came back clear. The doctors said that the chance of his having spasms in the next few days is greatly decreased by the fact that his angiogram ended up having such great results. What an answer to prayer! He will be moved soon from ICU to another room where they won't have to wake him up every hour to check on him like they have been doing.

He will still be in the hospital for a few more days but each day he keeps getting better and better. They are going to try and have him walk around a bit later this afternoon so he can work on regaining his strength. The doctors also said that the chances of him having a repeat of what happened last Monday were about 2%! In the minds of the drs, the news on him couldn't be better! The doctors might not realize it, but we all know we serve a great God who loves to extend grace and peace to His children. I am awed by His faithfulness to Chad and Wendy. I pray that this experience will change Chad and Wendy and their family forever. I pray that they will never be the same now that they have come face to face with God's love and protection.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. We know it will take a while for Chad to get back to normal and we still aren't sure if there will be any lingering effects. We hope and pray for a full and complete recovery. That's all I've got for now!

Side note: If you are someone who is interested in starting new ministries or looking for ways to serve those in need, I have an idea for you. I haven't spent a lot of time in hospitals so I haven't really thought about all of the families that are in turmoil being there. The waiting room on the floor that Chad was on was filled with families whose loved ones were in very critical condition. Some were in comas, some on life support, some who had become paraplegics etc. Some have been there for weeks. The people there just looked so sad and hurting. I thought what a great thing it would be if there was a ministry that could bring up a warm meal for those people. Just providing for people's basic needs can just show Christ's love like nothing else. If anyone starts up something like this, let me know! I would love to volunteer, I just know that at this point in my life, I can't spear head anything like this.

MRI Results are in!

The Medical Stuff:

The MRI results are back and they showed no abnormalities! That is a huge answer to prayer as this means he definitely did not have a aneuyrsm that they would have to worry about in the near future. It did show that there is still some blood present on the brain but that some of it has already been absorbed by the body. According to the doctors, the chance of this (I can't even remember the name of it...all I can think is subatomic hemmorage, but I know that's not right!) occurring to Chad again is at no greater risk that it happenning to you or I. Praise the Lord!

We are not out of the woods yet as this weekend and a few days after will be key to his recovery. In a normal recovery from this, the brain has spasms at it recovers. These can be minor or they can cause a stroke. This would obviously be worst case scenario. The nurses said that they have some patients that do have the spasms but then others that do not have spasms at all. We pray that Chad will not have any severe spasms and is able to continue in his recovery.

Chad's state of mind:

I know I mentioned a few days ago that Chad would have to be flat on his back for about 7-10 days, but this isn't the case anymore. He is able to sit up and eat whenever he feels the need. He is still VERY tired and sleeps most of the time. When he talks, it is in a whisper. Time is passing very slowly for him which makes him frustrated. I think he is ready to get out of there! I asked him if he gets hungry and he said he really doesn't have much of an appetite at this point. I'm sure it doesn't help that the food at hospitals is NOT GREAT!

We did come up with some positives from this experience. I told him now when he's got a room full of rowdy high schoolers, all he has to do is put his hands up to his temples and start moaning and say "I feel a headache coming on......" and that should shut them up pretty quick!!

Tonight is going to be the first time that he will see the kids and he said he's excited even though he knows it's going to be tough. I'm sure they will just be glad to see their daddy even if he isn't able to run around and be as energetic as he usually is. Wendy and Chad have done a wonderful job raising children that are resilient.

The best thing is that Chad is still the same old Chad. He was "singing" Wendy and I a song he learned in Sunday school and the nurse came in and said "Okay, if another nurse walks in while you're doing that, you better explain yourself because that's how our crazy patients act!!"

Wendy's state of mind:

I know many of you are also wondering how Wendy is doing. She is getting more rest than earlier this week thanks to all of the people who have generously paid for her and Chads' parents to stay in a hotel connected to the hospital. She is in good spirits but is remaining cautiously optimistic about Chad's condition. She said she doesn't want to get too comfortable being at the hospital, because the more comfortable she gets the less she thinks to rely on God. She is feeling completely covered by your love and prayers and support. She is also really excited to see how God is going to use this situation to help others! She wanted me to thank each and everyone of you who have prayed, made a meal, given a ride, made phone calls and given money. You are all truly angels minstering to Chad and Wendy and the rest of us!!

I will keep you updated as the weekend progresses! Hope everyone has a fun and safe Labor Day weekend.

Update from the hospital

Hi all. First off, did you know that a horse in the middle of the highway can really snag up traffic? Thankfully I was on the other side of the highway, but the poor horse had found it's way out the the highway. There were about 5 cop cars surrounding him and everyone seemed to be scratching there heads wondering what they were going to do with him!

I just got back from seeing Chad. He had his MRI last night at 4am but as of 11:30 am, they still hadn't received the results. They also removed his catheter so that now he is able to go the bathroom on his own. He is ordering meals now and is beginning to get a bit of an appetite back.

While I was there though, he did start to try and get up out of bed. After the nurse rushed in, she asked him what he was doing and he said "I'm trying to stand up." Then he asked what he was attached to. This was the first time that any of us had seen him a little bit fuzzy. We aren't really sure to make of the situation, but we continue to pray. If anything, it's a reminder that we need to keep praying as hard as when he first got sick knowing that at this point, there can be a number of complications that can occur.

Please join me in lifting up Chad up in your prayers once again. Your outpouring of love and support still continues to be felt!! If you are making a trip up to the hospital to see Wendy or Lynn and Ragena, call Wendy's cellphone and ask them if they could use any food. They are having a hard time remembering to eat so anything that we could provide to them would be much appreciated!