What I wish I had done.......

Today my best friend from childhood is giving birth to her first baby! How exciting. I also have good friends from our old church who are going to be giving birth to their first baby tommorow. This baby boom has gotten me thinking about having Preston and Owen and what I wish maybe I would have done differently.

The biggest thing I wish I would have done differently was to not hold myself to such a high standard! I know that sounds funny but it's true. With Preston I just assumed that mothering would come easy, breastfeeding would be a natural wonderful thing and that he wouldn't cry and would just coo like a cute little baby. Well, if most of you remember Preston, let's just say he turned that on it's head. He didn't sleep well, eat well and cried a lot! Talk about trial by fire. But here's the thing. I wish I would have cut myself some slack. I took everything that he didn't do "perfectly" as personal. I thought constantly that I wasn't doing a good job, that someone else could do much better! I stressed out myself way more than I needed to.

With Owen, I did this again to a smaller extent. He has had some major feeding problems and right away I went into the "blame myself" mode. Don't ask me why I felt like this was my fault but it took my wise mother shaking me saying "This is not your fault!" for me to snap out of it! Now I am daily trying to tell myself that the expectations that I hold myself to sometimes aren't realistic and that my babies aren't robots that are programmed to do everything perfectly. The trap that I fall in is that because I stay at home, I sometimes treat this like a job where I expect myself to do the job perfect and if I can't, I feel bad. But I'm done doing this. One thing I have learned is that sometimes the best moments come from things that aren't perfect.

So, there you have it new mommies. I just want to encourage you as you give birth, and the whole time after, cut yourself some slack! Enjoy yourself and don't think that everything has to be perfect in order for it to be great! It will be great because it is your story! I'm glad that I'm finally starting to learn this lesson! Also, don't be afraid to ask for help! All the mom's in your life understand what you're going through because they have been there!

Good luck to both of you guys and know that we love you and are praying for you!!