WARNING: I'm having one of those parenting days...well maybe even one of those parenting weeks where each of my kids is pushing. Pushing to get what they want, when they want it, no matter what the cost or how it hurts someone elses feelings. It's days like today where I can't see past the yelling, the crying, the screaming and whining to think "boy am I glad to be a mom!" Honestly, right now I'm not glad to be a mom. I am annoyed that I am a mom. Just being honest here.
Why does no one tell you this is part of what it is like to be a mom? That the rough days can easily out number the good days? Why does everyone say, while your kid is screaming in your ear or throwing a fit at the grocery, "you're going to miss these days!" Really? If that's true, then I've got some pretty bad days ahead of me!
I tell myself that part of the problem is that I hold to the "motherhood ideal." I have this idea of what a good mother looks like. The funny thing is that most of the time, this "mother" doesn't look like me at all. So then I feel guilty that I just can't keep it together. I feel like I'm not a good-enough mother. I know multiple times today I have thought "how can I be a better mother to these kids? Where am I lacking that is causing them act like this?" I find myself putting all of the burden on ME. Funny thing is, I wasn't the one misbehaving in the first place but yet in the end I feel like I'm the one that has done wrong. What a bad cycle of thought to get into. Then as if there needs to be more fuel for the fire, I usually get onto Facebook and see a bunch of mothers on there espousing how wonderful their kids are or how thankful they are to be mothers...etc. Don't get me wrong! I love to read these comments but on days like today, I let them make me feel lower and lower.
So, what's the answer? I think one thing I need to do is put the responsibility back where it belongs...on my three little mongrels...I mean angels. I need to be better at holding them accountable for there actions without instantly internalizing things. I think I also need to walk away more. I reason with them too much when they are being unreasonable. Nothing is worse than reasoning with a 5, 3, and 1 1/2 year old. Not gonna happen.
Husbands, if you are reading this, even if you don't understand what your wife is going through or why she is so cranky, pretend like you do. Put yourself in her shoes. Be understanding and when you get home, HELP HER! Nothing is better than when Wes can see I've had a bad day and he goes to the extra effort to help out.
I like to keep this blog real so sorry about the negativity, but that's life! Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day!
Am I alone in feeling like this?
2 comments:
You're definitely not alone! I have days like that all the time, and trust me, I've thought every thing that you wrote down (and more)! I have also been trying to put the responsibility back on my children where it belongs and walk away when I have to. The past couple of weeks I've started putting Jack in time out in our van in the garage (with the door open). He hates it because he has no audience, and I don't have to hear or see him! Stick to your guns, and pray, pray, pray! Love you!
most days, i feel like those happy-go-lucky "facebook moms" are faking it... just trying to make themselves believe they have perfect kids. just like the wives that comment everyday about how perfect and loving their husbands are. really?? every day???
and, just so you know you are not alone, this morning i decided that 'mommy' is my least favorite word. i may feel differently tomorrow, but as for today, i have no desire to hear it.
(and, people don't tell you about this part of parenthood b/c, let's be honest, i don't know if we'd believe it all the time)
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